Unwholesome Things - Part 8

Beta by LP, all remaining mistakes are entirely my fault.

“So…” Jeff said, apparently unable to speak more than a single word before being overcome by his need to take another bite of his sandwich.

Sitting at the park, enduring an entire conversation meted out between bites of food, with Jeff, was not how Oren was supposed to be spending his afternoon. But the bus had already emptied and left and Rezo had not arrived.

“Since Rezo spends so much time with you.” Jeff didn't bother to swallow before he added a handful of chips. When he spoke again his words were distorted by the still unfinished chewing process. 

“Does that mean he's gay now?”

“No, of course not,” Oren gave him the look that comment deserved. “It's not contagious.” Although admittedly, Oren's life would be better if it was.

“You two spend a lot of time together, and he walks you to and from your house all chivalrous-like.”

“He doesn't always walk me here, I mean, I came by myself today.” In a fit of bravado, Oren had offered to meet Rezo at the park. He'd wanted to prove his independence. Which was a mistake. If he'd let Rezo come to him he wouldn't be sitting here feeling like the words “stood up” were flashing above his head.

“Ok, one time you came by yourself.” Jeff paused. “What'd he do, make you promise to keep your love affair a secret?”

“We are not having a love affair.” Oren tried to say the words “love affair” with the same tone Jeff had used, as if they were something only sentimental idiots and women had.

“I think he feels sorry for me, that's all. He wants me to be less of a recluse.”

Jeff was silent for a moment, then he nodded. “Rezo is a nice guy like that, always showing new students around and helping people out.” His curiosity sated, Jeff's interest returned to his sandwich.

Despite what he'd said, Oren wasn't pleased to have their relationship explained away so easily. Although he imagined it was true. It was easier to believe than any alternative. He didn't actually know that much about Rezo. They'd never exchanged phone numbers. He didn't know where he lived, only that it was close enough to share the same bus stop.

“It would have been funny if he'd turned out to be gay. All the cute girls are always all over him.”

“Ah,” Oren said. He wished he could think of a witty response that would not only be brilliant, but would simultaneously discourage Jeff from bringing up such uncomfortable topics ever again. But all he could come up with was “ah.” When was he going to get better at this? The time he'd spent with Rezo certainly hadn't helped. The only new skills he'd developed had to do with asking someone to stop and being completely ignored.

“What are you working on?” Oren asked to change the subject, pointing at the papers spread across the table. The way Jeff was eating he was likely to get food on them. Oren hoped he would.

“Actually, I'm proofreading one of Rezo's.”

“What's it about?”

“It's contrasting the use of corporal punishment in white versus blue collar homes.”

Of course it was. “Extolling the superiority of blue collar methods in every way?” Oren rolled his eyes.

“No, it's completely the opposite.”

“It is?” Oren tilted his head to the side as if Jeff would make more sense if viewed from another angle. “Do white collar families use more corporal punishment?”

Jeff gave him an odd look. “No blue collar families do, the paper is arguing against using corporal punishments of any kind.”

Apparently Oren was losing his hearing. “What?”

“You know, the whole argument of people raising children to behave the way they're treated in their careers?” Jeff seemed to deduce from Oren's expression that he did, in fact, not know. “Followers raise followers and leaders raise leaders, or some crap like that.”

"Did he write that because his teacher would disapprove of his real views?"

"Those are his real views."

"They can't be."

“Why do you care so much? Are you planning on raising kids together or something?"

“Just shut up.” One more homophobic comment and Oren was not going to responsible for his actions.

Jeff slowly set down his bag of chips. “Man, you're really upset about this.”

Oren forced himself to calm down. Jeff wasn't the person he needed to be having this conversation with.

“I'm not, forget it,” Oren said.

“You can tell me what's bothering you.” Jeff leaned forward and Oren reflexively leaned back. “I'm a psych major, so not only do I like listening to people's problems, but it's practice for my future career.”

“Do you want me to cry on your shoulder too?”

“Come on, don't be like that.”

“Why would I care? It's not like we're going to breed, as you pointed out.”

“So, why do you think Rezo approves of corporal punishment?”

God he was persistent. “Well, not all corporal punishment, but maybe just things like spanking.” Oren received a skeptical look. “And uh, maybe not with children, but more as a motivational tool for adults.”

“Rezo thinks it's a good idea to spank adults?” Jeff quirked an eyebrow at Oren, as if he needed a reminder of how insane this conversation was.

The subject was beginning to have another effect on Oren. Damn his stupid, stupid, pale coloration. The worst part was that the more aware he was that he was blushing, the more embarrassed he would feel and the more noticeable it would become. It was a hateful cycle.

“I don't know.” Oren looked away. “Why would I know?” God he was bad at this.

“You're blushing.”

“I'm not.” One day, Oren would learn not to lie about things that were blatantly obvious. “I mean, it's not like that.”

The silence that followed insisted on knowing exactly what it was like.

“It was just when he made me write those apologies, I didn't want to at first and he kind of got forceful.”

“Um, sorry to break it to you, but most guys would have gotten a lot more than 'forceful' with you after what you did.”

“But not like that. He didn't hit me, I mean, he didn't hit me that way.” Oren shut his mouth, abruptly aware that he was nailing himself into a verbal coffin.

“He didn't hit you what way? You're not making any sense.”

“Never mind.”

“Oren?”

“Look, it's not important. He just had the wrong impression of me, he thought I had done…” Oren searched for a suitably ambiguous euphemism and failed, “something to other people and he wanted to uh, do that something back to me because he…” Why did Rezo do it? Oren had absolutely no idea. “Fuck I don't know.” Jeff was staring at him. “Just forget about it, it's stupid. I don't care if Rezo thinks spanking kids is bad for them. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Oren, you and Rezo don't…?” Jeff swallowed as if something bitter was creeping up his throat.

“I don't want to talk about this anymore.” But it was too late. Oren could actually see comprehension seeping into Jeff's features.

“Oh god, you do. You spank each other.” Jeff's expression was everything Oren had feared it would be. “Dude, that's kind of gay."

“Jeff—”

“Sorry, I don't mean to insult you. But it is, sort of.”

Oren hid his face in his hands, he wished they were large enough to hide the rest of him. Or that he was smaller. He felt small enough. Like a gnat.

“It doesn't make any sense,” Jeff said. “It goes against everything he believes in.”

“Apparently he believes in different things around different people,” Oren mumbled through his fingers.

“So what, if he fails a test, then you…?”

“No.” Oren's head snapped up. “Nothing like that, I've never spanked him.” Oren's eyes widened when he realized what he had just implied.

Jeff was silent. Not only had Oren managed to shock him speechless, but he hadn't taken another bite of food since the subject had come up. Oren deserved a plaque to hang on his wall. The fancy kind, with scrollwork.

“Can we just pretend I never said anything?” Oren asked.

“I don't think that's possible.” Jeff straightened up as if something important had occurred to him. “So it was just the once?” His tone was hopeful.

“Of course, yeah, just the once,” Oren said, deciding damage control was more important than honesty.

“Is that true?”

“Yes?” Oren didn't mean for it to come out as a question.

“How many times?"

Oren didn't answer immediately. “I don't know, not quite double digits I think.”

“That's not ok.” Jeff looked uneasy. “It's not every day you discover your best friend's a spousal abuser.”

“He's not abusing me,” Oren said, almost forgetting the rest of the denial. “And I'm not his spouse.”

“That's not the point. Are you sleeping together?"

“No.”

"Do you, um, like it?"

For a moment Oren thought Jeff was still referring to sex, but then he realized what he meant. "No. Of course not." Oren turned his head as if he could hide how infernally red his face was getting. But it was futile, he could feel it all the way down his neck.

“Oh god, you do like it.”

"Isn't your psychology training supposed to make you a little more sensitive?"

"Sorry, this is just…” Jeff sighed and Oren had absolutely no idea whether it was in resignation, relief, or something else entirely. “You have to talk to him about this, and if this is anything other than a—I can't believe I'm saying this—but if it's anything but a mutual kinky-sex-thing, you need to stop."

"It's not a sex thing," Oren said. Although he honestly didn't know what it was. He just didn't want to hear the words “kinky-sex-thing” come out of Jeff's mouth ever again.

"A sex-thing is certainly better than an abuse-thing."

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, especially not Rezo. No jokes, no innuendos. Not ever."

“Then you have to tell him. I'll give you today. If you don't talk to him, I'll bring it up with him tomorrow.”

“You can't do that.”

Jeff smiled. “Speak of the devil.” He gestured at something behind Oren with his chin.

Oren turned to watch as Rezo exited the bus. He felt a whole slurry of emotions, only a fraction of them pleasant.

Rezo's expression was worried as he rushed toward them.

“Hey, I'm really sorry Oren. I didn't mean to be late. It's just I got stuck and missed the bus. I don't have your phone number so I couldn't call. We should exchange numbers.”

That was progress at least.

“Nice to see you too Rezo.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “But don't panic I kept your boyfriend entertained.”

The word “boyfriend” sent shock down Oren's body. It was amazing how something meant to be an insult could sound like such a good idea.

“Be nice, Jeffery,” Rezo said, as he slid onto the bench next to Oren.

“He knows I'm joking. Right, Oren?”

“Um, yeah.” Possibly.

“See?” Jeff smiled at Rezo's skeptical look. “Hey, I kept him company. We had a nice conversation.”

“I'm sure.”

“It was very enlightening.”

“Why do you always call him Jeffery instead of Jeff?” Oren interrupted before Jeff could elaborate. Jeff still seemed uneasy, even if he was making an effort to hide it. Oren didn't trust him not to say something when it was obviously still on his mind.

“Oh that. Heh.” Rezo grinned. “Jeffery used to make up nicknames for himself. Really, really awful ones that he thought were cool. Like 'Jefted' as a pun on 'gifted' and 'Ree' since 'Jeff' was too common.”

“You don't have to tell him this, I was like, ten.”

“Try twelve. Then there was the Old West phase, he wanted to be 'Slim' or 'Rafter' or 'Diablo.' The worst part was that he gave them to himself. That breaks the first rule of nicknaming.”

Were there actual nickname regulations? Oren decided not to ask.

“It wasn't my fault my friends weren't very creative,” Jeff said.

“We had some suggestions.”

“Not good ones. Jesus, Will wanted to call me 'Scooter.'”

Rezo laughed. “I forgot about that. That was almost as bad as—”

“Don't say it or I'll give you a couple-name.”

A couple-name? Casual, peer interaction was so much more complicated than Oren was ever likely to understand.

“There's just one of me, Jeffrey.” Rezo said.

“You spend so much time with Oren though, you deserve it. I hereby dub thee 'Rezen.'”

“Resin?” Rezo snorted. “As in tree sap?”

Both Jeff and Rezo seemed to think it was hilarious but Oren didn't get it.

“No wait, how about 'Orzo,'” Jeff said. “That's even better. Oren's name should definitely come first, since you're obviously the bitch in the relationship.”

Oren made a sound as he abruptly sucked in air without meaning to. That's what a couple-name was? He glanced at Rezo to see how he was taking this. Rezo didn't seem offended, but when he noticed Oren was looking at him, something in Oren's expression caused him to frown.

“Anyway,” Rezo said. “Because of the numerous infractions, I revoked all of his nickname privileges. So now he's stuck being called by his full name. Forever.”

Jeff stood and began to gather his things.

“What?” Rezo asked. “You don't want to stay for more heartwarming tales of childhood friendship, Diablo?” Rezo smirked.

“I'm going home.” Jeff was too serious, later Oren would learn to interpret this behavior as a warning. “I'll email the corrections on your paper to you Rezo, I didn't get a chance to finish it, because I ended up showing it to Oren.”

It was as if Oren had been doused in frigid water.

“He found your views on spanking interesting and surprising. Maybe you could explain the finer points to him. I don't think I was really able to get a handle on where your head is at.” Jeff smiled and waved. “See you later.”

Jeff was clearly not to be trusted. Ever.

Rezo's eyes were wide. He sat unmoving until he seemed to realize that Oren was waiting for a reaction. He stood up and moved to take the seat Jeff had vacated. Either because he wanted to talk face to face or because he wanted distance, or both.

“So you, um, read my paper?” Rezo asked.

“I didn't read it, but Jeff told me what it was about.”

“Ah.” Rezo rubbed the back of his neck. He attempted a smile, but it was hardly convincing.

"If you don't believe it does any good, why do you do it to me?"

“It's not necessarily, that it doesn't do any good. It's just that statistics have shown it's not more effective than non-physical techniques and that it's used less in households with higher social status.”

“Could your answer possibly be any more evasive?”

In a way, it was satisfying how miserable Rezo looked.

"I don't know why exactly.”

“Good to know you have such sound reasoning behind it.” Oren crossed his arms, a pose usually reserved for Rezo.

“I guess the first time I was angry and I wanted to teach you what it felt like to be on the receiving end."

"As opposed to…?”

"My opinion of you was wrong, ok? You tried to tell me then, but I didn't believe you. I'm sorry.”

“What about after that? It wasn't exactly a fluke.”

“I don't know. It seemed to work with you."

“So I changed your mind about it?” Oren was actually ok with that explanation. People grew, views changed, it was all part of life.

“No, I still think it's not the best way to discipline children. Their minds are still developing and it could have a negative effect, especially if done in anger or excess.”

“But I'm already screwed up, so it's ok?”

“No, don't be ridiculous.” Rezo glanced around as if he expected to find the right answer written down somewhere waiting for him. “It's just sometimes it seemed like you were trying to provoke me to do it.”

Oren blinked. Rezo had obviously not found the correct answer.

“So it was my fault that you acted against your principles?” Oren said.

“No, that's not what I meant.”

"Apparently, you didn't mean a lot of things."

"Stop twisting my words, you're just escalating things.”

Oren glared at him and Rezo averted his gaze.

“You know what? This is crazy.” Rezo began jerking his textbooks out of his backpack. “You're an adult. You should be responsible for your own behavior.”

“As in?”

“As in: I'm not going to treat you like a child anymore. No more punishments.”

Of all the ways he'd expected this confrontation to go, this outcome hadn't been one of them. Oren wasn't sure how he felt about it. As much as he still wanted to argue, he was completely confused as to what side of the argument he was supposed to be on.

“It's late and I need to study,” Rezo said.

Oren said nothing, but he took out his sketch pad. His eyes had trouble focusing on the paper as he moved his pencil lightly over it, unaware of what he was drawing.

He should have been relieved. How many times had he tried to talk his way out of a spanking? Now he would never have to be in that position again. It was as if he had stumbled across the eternal get out of jail free card. This was good.

But he didn't feel good. In fact, if it wasn't absolutely the most ridiculous notion ever, he might have thought he felt disappointed.

A few days later Oren had come to an understanding about how he felt about the change in their relationship. He found he was perfectly fine with never being threatened with a paddle, brush, or switch again.

But that was the only thing he was fine with. A huge dynamic of their relationship had been erased, which had left behind some disastrous consequences. Rezo no longer had an excuse to come inside his room. Which meant that every interaction began and ended in a public location. They had almost no excuse to touch anymore. Oren was beginning to fear they would never have any physical contact ever again. The mere thought of that left him feeling hollow.

Another problem was that Oren hadn't sorted out what he thought about the whole spanking thing. He'd established that he didn't like pain (maybe) or at least not too much of it. He liked being manhandled and sometimes even threatened (to an extent). And while he'd never admit it to another human being, sometimes he still fantasized about being spanked when he touched himself. Which was odd since he didn't actually enjoy it when it was happening. It was a mystery that occupied a lot of his thoughts and it would never be solved if he didn't have a way to explore it.

Which is how the insanity started. The insanity in which Oren actually began trying to get spanked. 

He started with something that he knew would bother Rezo. He'd been spanked more than once for the improper use of his binoculars, so he couldn't see how it could fail. Besides, it had been a while since he'd gotten a good look at the students that rode the bus and he may as well enjoy it when he had the chance.

“So is The Death of a Salesman any good? I've never read it,” Oren asked.

“It's kind of slow, but I just started reading it…” Rezo frowned at him. “How did you know I was reading that?”

“Oh, um…” Oren looked down, doing his best to look as guilty as possible.

“Where you spying on me again or did you go through my stuff?” Rezo crossed his arms. Oren loved it when he struck his firm-but-tolerant-disciplinarian pose.

“It wasn't like that. I swear. I didn't go through your things, I just…” Oren let his words trail off into a condemning silence.

“Decided to spy on me?”

“I know. But it was the first time in a really long time since I've used my binoculars. I'm sorry. I can't believe I said that about the book. If I'd said nothing you never would have known.” Oren hoped claiming the only problem was getting caught would have additional impact.

“Seriously, you're lucky I'm not going to spank you anymore.” Rezo shook his head, but he seemed unlikely to do anything else and Oren had run out of words to provoke him with. Damn.

“Lucky for me,” Oren said, trying not to sound too disappointed. This might be harder than he thought.

The attempt, however, was not entirely without consequence because the next day Rezo brought him a surprise.

“Fair?” Rezo asked.

Oren frowned at the padlock marring the sleek lines of his binocular case.

“I don't know.”

“This will give you a break from people-watching. I'll give you the key back in a few weeks.”

Oren felt like a five year old. “I don't need this kind of intervention.” He honestly didn't, but it wasn't like he could tell Rezo that he'd done it on purpose. If he knew Oren wanted to be punished, it was likely to be counterproductive.

Rezo seemed to be waiting for a response.

Oren groaned. “Do what you want.” At least is wasn't a total loss, he had managed to get Rezo to come up to his room. Not to mention Rezo was still acting like he was responsible for Oren's behavior, whether he would admit it or not. Oren certainly wasn't going to be the one to point these incongruities out, not when they were moving things in the right direction. 

Oren tried again in the car.

“So how many weeks have you allowed your engine to squeak like this?”

Rezo's glance was measured. “Don't start.”

“You say it's just a belt and it's just noisy, but I think it could be really dangerous.” Oren watched Rezo's fingers tighten on the wheel.

“Oren I told you—”

“Not because it's going to fall apart, but because it's distracting. How can you focus on your driving when your thoughts are interrupted every millisecond by an annoying screech?”

“I manage to drive with you in the car,” Rezo said, his voice deadpan.

Oren ignored that.

“I mean it. It's so loud it has to be distracting to other drivers as well.”

“Oren stop.”

“This could be a serious threat to public safety. It's a miracle there aren't major collisions everywhere you go.”

“Do you know what you need?” Rezo's voice was almost a growl. It sent delightful shivers down Oren's spine. This was it, Rezo was going to throw down an ultimatum and then just one little nudge and Oren would be exactly where he wanted—face down across Rezo's lap.

“What?” Oren tried to sound more nervous than excited, but he wasn't certain he succeeded.

“A driver's license.”

“A…what?”

“Then you could drive yourself where you want to go. You wouldn't have to listen to the squeaky belt and I wouldn't have to listen to you complain.”

“Very funny.” Oren glared at him. “Just because—”

“Don't make me drive you to the DMV.”

Oren closed his mouth and looked out the window. He wasn't sure if that was a serious threat. If it was anyone else he would have assumed it was a joke. It wasn't like Rezo could force him to take the driver's test.

However, Rezo could be very difficult to say no to. But even if he made him take it, he certainly couldn't make him pass.

Oren snuck a look at Rezo.

He decided it wasn't worth the risk.

It was Jeff that gave him his next opportunity. Which was fitting, since not only was everything his fault, but he continually tried to make Oren's life more difficult by trying to get him to talk about what had happened. Other than briefly telling him he'd settled things with Rezo, Oren wasn't willing to say anything. But that didn't stop Jeff from giving him pointed looks and baited comments.

“What time are you going to Will's party?” Jeff asked Rezo.

“I'll be there around eight,” Rezo said.

“What party?” Oren asked.

“At O'Regan's tonight, are you coming?”

“No, he's not,” Rezo answered for him.

“Why not?” Oren was genuinely offended. Will was the only one of Rezo's friends he truly liked.

“Because you're not twenty-one yet and it's at a bar.”

“What about all of Will's friends that are underage?”

“I don't know, but it's his twenty-first birthday so that's where he chose to celebrate.” Rezo gave him a firm look. “You can't go.”

"Or else," Jeff whispered to Oren.

Oren glared at him. Jeff smiled and hooked an arm around Oren's shoulders. Oren tried to shrug him off, but Jeff was annoyingly persistent, like some type of social limpet.

“I'll wish him a happy birthday for you,” Jeff said.

“Thanks.” Oren made the word sound as hostile as possible.

“You're squishing him,” Rezo said, moving towards Jeff and Oren. Jeff let go of Oren's shoulders and stepped back.

Oren was stunned when Rezo put his arm around his shoulders. It felt so incredibly different than when Jeff did it. Oren was aware of the firmness of his side and the warmth of his skin through his shirt.

“Orzo,” Jeff said with a snort.

Oren didn't care. It would be impossible for Jeff to ruin this moment.

“I'm just warding off weirdos,” Rezo grinned. “I'm sure we'll get together and do something else for Will soon. You're right, Oren, not all of his friends are twenty-one.”

“Ok,” was all Oren could say.

Rezo squeezed Oren once and let go. He shouldered his backpack and waved before he left.

Jeff had that look again, like he wanted to stay behind and ask something. He was interrupted, however, when Rezo grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him backwards.

“Hey!” Jeff said.

“Come on, you don't want to be late.” Rezo continued to walk, not looking to see if Jeff was following.

Jeff rolled his eyes, waved at Oren and then followed Rezo.

Oren didn't know if Rezo had rescued him on purpose, but either way he appreciated it.

Being free of Jeff was always a relief, but this time it also allowed him to get started immediately on his next plan. 

Chapter Nine 
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